Tuesday 18 February 2025
The epithet ‘Manners Maketh Man’ is attributed to the Oxford institution of New College and Winchester College, both founded by William of Wykeham. Wykeham’s creation of this motto, which apparently adorned his coat of arms, dates back to the mid-1300s.
Aside from being the motto of these two revered establishments, it has featured most recently in the film series Kingsman, where a stylish Colin Firth gets to dress up, and then take down criminals. The focus on dressing well is all part and parcel of doing the job.
Whether it be James Bond or Sir Lancelot, literature has always confused the idea of gentlemanly conduct with good dress sense and some dubious courtly behaviours. I’m not so sure that any of these characters should be held in such high regard; after all, while they may serve King or Country, it’s not good manners that are employed to get the job done!
Encouraging our children to practice good manners is something taught to the very young and does not stop. Even as adults, as cultural mores (the rules tied to ethics and morality) change and develop, it is vital we evolve along with them. For example, it may seem to be chivalrous to open the door for a lady - but why would a door not be opened for a man? Indeed, even the term ‘lady’ may have had its day. If one uses ‘man’, perhaps it’s correct to use a word more its equal: ‘woman’.
Undergoing a shift in mindset has occurred with our own King’s College motto. ‘Virtus Pollet’ used to mean ‘Manliness Prevails’ - and maybe, in the Latin translation, it still does. However, a more equitable and modern translation is now used: Good Character Prevails. And at the heart of good character lies the essence of good manners, just as it did when William of Wykeham penned his wise words. Historians believe that he too had a broad view of when using the word manners. It’s not just saying please or thank you, though indeed, that’s where it might start.
At the recent boarding student outing to Parakai Pools, I was impressed to see our King’s students display excellent manners. Atop the slides, they were courteous to citizens not in our group when it came to taking turns. Whether it was adults, children or families, our students allowed them through first, were generous and friendly in encouraging the youngsters and were simply mindful of others. Later, they helped with food preparation and then clean-up, and they were on time when required and considerate in all respects. Good manners here went beyond the formalities - we could see it in their disposition.
Among our College’s eight values is ‘Generosity of Spirit’. Perhaps this is the one moral code that speaks most clearly to what William of Wykeham and Graham Bruce sought for the development of character at their respective educational institutions. One can’t help but be respectful and kind if one has a generous, outward-looking and considerate approach to others.
So, good table manners, please and thank you, and all the niceties of human interactions are vital to our continued cooperation. But, if we are in the business of making fine adults of the future, working on character development is what really creates the best men…and women.
Grant McKibbin
Teacher i/c Mentoring